In this post I am telling a fictional account of the reflections of an unnamed disciple about Jesus’ death and resurrection. He will be sharing with us the events that took place at the end of the passion week and also share with us the range of emotions the disciples might have gone through.
I don’t know what to think. What has happened? We just saw Jesus! But He was supposed to be dead. But now not dead?! For the last couple of days, we were at a complete loss. Such despair I have never known or ever want to know again. But since yesterday, such heights! But I’m still so confused. He was here such a short a time. Will He come back? What are His plans? What now? And where is Thomas?
OK, I’ve gotten ahead of myself. So much has happened, but I haven’t had time to process it all. It has been coming so fast! I remember sitting in this same upper room on the Sabbath, the night after he was buried. But oh, was the mood so much darker. So heavy with doubt and depression. I remember thinking this couldn’t be the plan. Dead! The Messiah was dead. That could not be possible yet it had happened. Worse he was crucified, died on a tree, cursed by God (Deut 21:22-23). Were we wrong? The Messiah was not supposed to die. How could Jesus be cursed of God? Is this what we have been waiting centuries for, a dead Messiah? I didn’t understand.
I know now, He told us He would return, but we didn’t understand. Even Peter, James, and John—His closest of any of us—didn’t understand. Peter especially was so distraught. When he finally made it back here to the upper room, he just sat alone in the corner. He wouldn’t talk to anyone. He was in such pain.
But it started so differently, so amazingly! Just last week the crowds were cheering us on as Jesus rode on a colt into Jerusalem. They were casting branches and even their cloaks on the road before him, shouting out “Hosanna in the highest!” We were all so excited. Here in Jerusalem Jesus was being proclaimed!
The rest of the week was challenging, to say the least. Jesus continued to teach, but He also stirred the waters, as only He could do, cleansing the Temple of the sellers and money changers. “My House will be called a House of prayer.” That is what He said. You should have seen the faces of those Jewish leaders, the chief priests, and the members of the Sanhedrin, both Sadducees and Pharisees. He had a way of confronting people like you have never seen! The Jewish leaders spent the week trying to trap Him in issues of the law. They even tried to trip Him up on taxes, as if!
Then, Thursday night we were eating the Passover together here in this upper room. Well, it was your Thursday night. For Jewish people, the new day starts at sundown, so for us it was already Friday. It started off strange. Jesus washed our feet! I was a bit ashamed I did not think to do this for Him. I don’t think any of us were comfortable with Him doing this for us, but He told Peter if He didn’t do this, we had no part with Him.
As we ate the dinner, Jesus took bread saying it was His body given for us. He gave it to us to eat. He took wine saying it was His blood shed for us. He gave it to us to drink. We were instructed to do this in remembrance of Him. I didn’t understand.
He said so much that night. He talked of what was coming, The Spirit of truth! He said, “I am the way , and the truth, and the life.” He told us He was the vine and we were the branches and so much more. Then His prayer! I have never heard a prayer like that. It will stay with me forever.
He also talked of betrayal. We all wondered if we were the one, but it was Judas. Judas, why? This I will never understand. He was our brother, one of us. Jesus loved Him just as He loves all of us. Why? Oh, Why?
Things happened very quickly. That night in the garden was terrifying. Judas came with an army of soldiers and Temple guards. There were hundreds of them. Judas kissed Jesus. He betrayed our Lord with a kiss! They went to arrest Jesus and Peter, being Peter, cut off a man’s ear. Jesus put it back on. He healed one of the men sent to arrest Him! Who does that?
I am ashamed to say I just ran. The others ran. Somehow, we got past all those soldiers. I don’t know how. One by one we made our way back to the upper room. We just came in and sat. Ashamed that we didn’t stand up for him. No one really talked. Word started to come in of what was happening. He was taken to Annas the former High Priest and father-in-law to the current High Priest, Caiaphas. Then, they took Him to Caiaphas where Jesus was charged with blasphemy for saying He was the Messiah, the Christ! Which was the truth!
They took him to Pilate Friday morning. They wanted him killed. Not just killed but crucified, hung on a tree! They had stoned people when it fit their needs (Act 7:54-60). But no, now they go to the Romans, of all people, to do their dirty work. Our oppressors! Gentiles! Then it appears Pilate sent Him to Herod who just sent Jesus back to Pilate. From the bits we were hearing at that time—we were all too cowardly to go out—Pilate didn’t seem to want to punish Him. Yet, Pilate had Jesus flogged hoping to appease the Sanhedrin. They beat and flogged Jesus! Oh, I can’t imagine!
Pilot even offered to release Jesus, but they chose the murdering terrorist Barabbas. Then a crowd, a crowd of Jews…my own people…the people Jesus, the Messiah, had especially come for… was persuaded by our Jews leaders to call for the unbelievable. Our Jewish “Holy Men” called for… I almost can’t say it… for Jesus to be crucified! Oh Lord, forgive us!
So, they took Him out and crucified Him. They killed Him. Even then He was asking God to forgive them. I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive them! But that is what He would want me to do. It will be so hard.
Two Jewish leaders—Joseph from Arimathea, and Nicodemus—took His body and put it in Joseph’s new tomb. Even among our leaders, Jesus had an impact. Afraid we would do something with the body, the Jewish leaders requested Pilate seal the tomb and place guards at the site. I wish we had the courage to even consider it. Jesus was buried and sealed away along with all our hopes. At this point it was now the Sabbath. We all stayed hidden in that upper room. Every movement outside terrifying us that the authorities had found us, were coming to arrest us too.
The women in our group were so strong through this. They prepared some food and tried to get us to eat, but no one wanted anything. John had been at His death. He hasn’t said much. He was the last to get here with Jesus’ mother and some of the women. He was so close to Jesus, like a younger brother or even a son. There he was comforting Mary as if she was his own mother. Seems fitting.
Then came Sunday morning. The day that changed the world! Tears of despair and anguish turned to shock and tears of joy! The impossible had happened! But as He taught, what is impossible of man is always possible with GOD. It happened so fast, we were so confused and … I don’t know the word to describe it; but whatever it is, we were feeling it. I will tell you in the order things happened and will try to be brief. I think I will be telling of this day, these events, the rest of my life!
Early on Sunday morning Mary Magdalen, Mary the mother of James, Salome, Joanna, and other women went to His tomb. (Mt 28:1; Mk 16:1-4; Lk 24:1; Jn 20:1) They went to finish preparing His body as there was no time to complete preparation on Friday evening with His body being sealed in the tomb because the Sabbath was about to begin. The women had seen Friday evening where he had been laid, so they knew where to go (Lk 23:55-56).
On the way they were talking about what they would do about the large stone sealing the tomb. Prior to them getting to the tomb, they had felt the earth shake. An angel of God had come from heaven and rolled the stone way. The guards were so frightened by the appearance of the angel they fainted (Matt 28:1-4).
Mary Magdalene was so excited to see this, she ran back to us to tell us. Peter and John ran to the tomb with Mary Magdalene following. They both saw the empty tomb and His wrapping left lying there with His face cloth folded in a place by itself. Peter and John then left wondering what this meant (Jn 20:1-10).
While Mary was coming to us, the other women entered the tomb where there were two angels who spoke to them “Why are you seeking the living among the dead? He is not here but has risen.” (Mt 28:5-8; Mk 16:2-8; Lk 24:2-7) “The living among the dead!!!”
The group returned to us and told us what had happened. Mary stayed behind. Jesus appeared to her. At first she thought he was the gardener, of all things, but it was Jesus. He spoke to her (Jn 20:11-18; Mk 16:9-11). She returned to us again and told us what had happened.
Actually, while the other women were returning, Jesus appeared to them and spoke to the women (Mt 28:8-10). He told them the disciples were to go to Galilee and we would see Him too.
As for those passed-out guards, they had recovered and had gone back to Jerusalem. The counsel paid them to say we had stolen the body while they were asleep (Mt 28:11-15). Wow! Us? Cowards hidden away for fear of these very Roman and Temple guards. If we had taken the body, why weren’t we ever arrested for attacking Roman solders or stealing from a sealed tomb? Why were the solders not killed, or at least punished, for sleeping on duty or allowing us to “steal” the body? Makes no sense, but some people would rather believe a lie then accept the plain truth.
This was just the beginning of Jesus’ appearances. Two of His disciples who had been on their way to Emmaus came running back to the upper room. They told us they too had seen Him. Not only that but they had walked with him, talked with Him, and eaten with Him! He explained how the whole of Scripture was about Him (Lk 24:13-35, Mk 16:12).
We were all in the upper room, well except for Thomas. Seems the plan was to leave for Galilee the next day since, with all the commotion, the day had passed and it was late. Then it happened! I can’t put in words how we felt: fear, wonder, amazement. For even though the door was locked, standing in our midst was Jesus! Jesus was there! He was alive! He was no ghost. He was real! We saw the scars on His hands and feet. The scar on His side. He even ate with us! (Lk 34:36-49, Jn 20:19-23).
I am out of time—I added this section a few weeks later—and there is so much more to share. Oh, to tell you of the next week when He appeared again to us in this room. This time, Thomas was here. He never was good at just waiting around, so he had left before Jesus first came to us. Just like all of us, he wouldn’t believe it until he saw Him and His wounds. I would love to tell you of the time with Him in Galilee and on the Mount of Olives where He ascended back to the Father, but we have run out of time.
What thought should I leave you with? The world has changed. Jesus is alive! He died for your sin and my sin then rose in victory over that sin and death. He did what He promised from the very beginning. He crushed the head of that serpent, Satan (Gen 3:15). He gives us what He graciously promised: eternal life. If you will yield to the moving of the Holy Spirit, repent and come to Him by faith, that eternal life is yours too. Not in eternity but right now!
See our post Knowing God to discover more about a personal relationship with God in Jesus Christ. Experience Easter as a new disciple as the first disciples did. Connect with the living Lord who desires to restore your soul.
Until the next time we see you here at CultivatingFaith.org, God Bless! #CultivatingFaithOrg
Photo by Bruno van der Kraan on Unsplash